Monday Dec 2, 1974

Youngsters say parents should
Be seen not heard

Friendship, fun more important than winning

From the mouths of babes - in this case three dozen of them invo1ved in the Brookwood Athletic Association's mini-basketball league in Pierrefonds often come words of enduring wisdom.

Basically, their message is one that welcomes parental participation on the condition that mom and dad are seen much more than they are heard.

The reflections of the youngsters aged eight to 12 were gathered at the behest of 1eague chairman Chris Marghetis by researchers John Salvis, Mikea Silodvnik and Bob Vokey of North Shore Youth Services.

"Our dilemma is not unusual," explained Marghetis, who founded the league four years ago which now caters to more than 400,Youngsters up to 16 years old. "We want, to teach youngsters something besides basketball and sometimes overzealous coaches and parents need to be reminded.''

The 10 page youth services report was compiled after interviews with the three dozen youngsters selected at random from league, registration files.

What they found might sound like so much conventiona1 wisdom but believe me when I say the advice contained therein is ignored in some measure wherever little children's games are played out.

• Basketball (it applies to every sport for -that matter) is a "fun" game that is better when teams are evenly matched and the scores are not lopsided.

• Demanding coaches and unruly spectators who find great pleasure in baiting referees are about as welcome in the gymnasium as a ball that doesn't bounce.

• Parents should be educated to do their part -not overdo it - in making the league a success. The dozen girls who took part in the interview also would like to see more mothers as coaches and referees.

"We do it for the kids, we te11 ourselves," Marghetis says. "But do we do what the kids want or are we just trying to fulfil our personal desires, satisfy our egos and hide behind the children to achieve them?"

The survey, he says, opened the door to suggestions on how to improve the league and the best part of it, was that they came from the people they would benefit most.

Friends important

If there were a choice, said three of every four who took part in the interview, it would be to be1ong to a team with friends rather than a team that won consistently. All but one of the girls and two of the 24 boys questioned said they didn't really mind being on a losing team as long as they enjoyed themselves.

Indicative of this was the quote from one youngster, 'who will remain anonymous as others quoted here will be.

"It's not even fun when we win by a big score against a lousy team," he said. "We beat this team last year by almost 30 points each game and some of our guys felt sorry for them."

A number of youngsters, in reaction to a league rule, last year that stipulated default for a team that couldn't field a full roster, suggested such games should be postponed to give competitors another chance.

"It's more important to p1ay than just have the game cancelled," rep1ied one youngster. "The important thing is playing."

There was no consensus on whether the better coach was young or old but a couple of quotes clearly underline whatever preferences there are.

Good coaches wanted

"Well, our last year's coach didn't rea11y know that much about basketball, so we didn't practise that much. When we did we never learned anything . . .just hacked around."

"HIS coach was the best in the league'. He knew a lot about basketball, made a lot of practices, taught lots of plays. He never yelled, but he explained mistakes to the kids. The guys on that team that I knew really had fun."

"Some coaches tried to call the games for the referees and there were so many arguments. There was one referee who quit right in the middle of a game because the coaches were on his back. It was the first time we saw that ref and the last."

Parenta1 participation, Marghetis agrees, is a requisite for the success of the league. The report, however, suggests group meetings to stress the underlying philosophy of fun in sport.

"There is something "missing in a lot of North American parents," says Marghetis, "who think somebody else should look after them. We brought them into the world and we're responsible.

"This is not a baby sitting service we're operating. We have 41 teams and that takes a lot of parents to help out. We're lucky we've got so many good ones, but there are plenty who dump their kids at the gym and think their commitment ends there."

Don't bug kids

There's an eloquent plea to that effect in the survey findings and I'll let the kids speak for themselves.

"It's all right to encourage a kid, but not bug him about it."

"I usually try harder to show my parents how good I play. I want to work harder for them to be proud of me.

"When we are losing and my parents are yelling, I feel like going up to them' and saying, 'you do it.' " ,

There's one thing, however, the survey team didn't mention and it's a point well worth taking.

The Brookwood Athletic Association had enough courage and faith in itself to ,cast its, operation before a critical audience of children and we all know how honest they can be.

Pierrefonds is a much better place for kids because of it.