Giving Feedback Effectively "In life there is no failure, only
feedback." ~ Akitis
Agios
Feedback is a way of helping another person to consider
changing his or her behavior or, reinforce effective behaviors. It is a communication to a person that
gives that person information about how he or she affects others. Some criteria for offering useful feedback
include:
1.
It is descriptive rather than
evaluative. By describing your own reactions,
it leaves the individual free to use it or to not use it as he/she sees
fit. By avoiding evaluative language,
you reduce the need for the individual to respond defensively.
2.
It is specific rather than general. To be told that one is
“dominating” will probably not be as useful as to be told that “just now when
we were deciding the issue, you did not listen to what others said and I felt
forced to accept your arguments or face attack from you.” Avoid using words like “always,” “never,”
or “all.”
3.
It takes into account the needs of both
the receiver and the giver of the feedback. Feedback can be destructive when
it serves only our own needs and fails to consider the needs of the person on
the receiving end. As the giver,
examine your motives for offering feedback to be helpful, not superior. Avoid overloading receivers, instead try to
focus on the most immediate and important aspects first.
4.
It is only directed toward changeable
behaviors. Frustration is only increased
when a person is reminded of a shortcoming over which he or she has no
control. Focus on the behavior (or
product or event), not on the person.
Use “I” statements to keep the focus on your perception of the
behavior and its impact.
5.
It is solicited rather than
imposed. Feedback is most useful when the
received asks for feedback on his or her behavior.
6.
It is well-timed. In general, feedback is most
useful at the earliest opportunity after the given behavior. This depends on the individual’s readiness
to hear it, support available from others, etc.
7.
It is checked with the receiver to
ensure that the feedback was heard correctly. One way of doing this is to have
the receiver try to rephrase the feedback he or she has received to see if it
corresponds to what the giver had in mind.
8.
Check the accuracy of
the feedback with others in the group. Is this one person’s impression
or an impression shared by others? |
Receiving Feedback Effectively "In life there is no failure, only
feedback." ~ Akitis
Agios
Receiving feedback can make you feel
uncomfortable. However you can manage
your actions in response to the feedback you receive. When you receive feedback, work to reflect
back to the person what you hear them saying.
This helps to check the accuracy of the feedback, and also creates an opportunity
for two-way communication. It is also
important to not become defensive but to accept feedback from others with an
open-mind. Some criteria for receiving and reflecting useful
feedback include:
1.
Reflect feelings Using your own
words, express the essential feelings stated or strongly implied by the feedback
giver. For example, “It sounds like
that made you upset or frustrated.”
2.
Reflect content Secondary to
feelings, repeat in fewer and fresher words the essential thoughts of the feedback
giver. For example, “You must have
been thinking, …”
3.
Mirroring and Parroting By merely
repeat what the giver has said, using the same words, avoids unintentionally
under or over stating the degree of feeling.
This also gives you time to rehear and reconsider the feedback.
4.
Paraphrasing Use this method
to restate the giver’s basic message in similar words, which tests your
understanding of what the person said.
It may also help you retain the feedback if you can put it in a
context that has meaning for you. For
example, “what I hear you saying is …”
5.
Summarizing To help wrap up
a feedback conversation, try tying several ideas and feelings together to
create a natural close. For example,
“We’ve talking about several different things, but the main points as I see
them are …”
6.
Clarifying Bring vague or
unspecific feedback into sharper focus by asking for confirmation or
correction on what was said. Try
phrases like “so if I understand you correctly…” or “what I think you mean
is…, is that right?”
7.
Cheerleading Not only is it okay
to tell the giver that you are glad he or she took action by talking with
you, it is helpful to encourage the person further by commenting on what a
positive sign of strength asking for or giving feedback can be.
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